I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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