I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
