so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.