I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I supernannyed him into submission