we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
