Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
