so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
