If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
