the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
