You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
