Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
