It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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