I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize