you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
