whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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