I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
