Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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