It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
