And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
