i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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