i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
