he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
