never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
