Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Its about making memories worth repressing
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
