i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
