alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
