I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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