Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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