She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I deserve this hangover.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
