haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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