sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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