i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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