she kept yelling 'call me bella'
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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