I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
