I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
