god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This house was built for laser tag.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
