At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
