if i can run in heels then i can drive
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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