just tell him i said nine months
it hurts more in the daytime
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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