he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
