remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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