we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
