i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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