How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
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My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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