Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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