i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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