ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
