I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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