I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
When did we convert life to cartoon?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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