just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
