Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
