I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
