Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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