Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
