Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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