If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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