he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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